DID YOU KNOW?: Smoking is bad for you

It wasn't until very recently while on a walk with my friends, ignorantly enjoying a cigarette after a few drinks, that I learned a hard truth. A young girl was standing on the street as we walked by, tending to her vomiting drunk friend when an Angel of Truth compelled her to reach out to us. And she, being a conduit for the heavenly being, said,"Smoking is bad for you!" Her words cut me like a sword. Not a skinny, old sword that weird collector guys keep in their basement either. This was a double-edged, shiny, chrome (not sure how they make swords really), steel type sword. My friends and I immediately dropped our cigarettes, stomping them out and falling to our knees to repent. We had no idea!

Now, me and my friends aren't completely stupid! We knew that sodium nitrites found in processed meats were bad. We knew being overweight was the leading cost of health care in the United States today. We knew that subsidizing corn production, leading to the injection of corn goo into everything we eat including ketchup and fun kids snacks, was bad. We knew that drinking too much led to cirrhosis of the liver. We knew that adding ranch to everything we ate was bad. We knew countless hours in front of TVs and computers was bad for our eyes and our souls. We knew that not exercising ever was bad, too. We just had NO IDEA that smoking was bad!

From now on, whenever I see someone smoking a cigarette, instead of being content with my own life choices, and basking in the glory of my non-smoking ways, and just plain minding my own business, I will definitely ignore my vomiting friend on the curb and stop to tell you that smoking is bad for you. I won't hide it under a bushel, no. I'm going to let it out. I'm proud to say that I haven't had a cigarette since last night and I already feel so much better!